still not online.....

I'm still not technically online but I must share this video. Get past the beginning to watch the actual dance routine. I love these choreographers and pretty much anything they do and I believe the dancers stayed true to it. These two should be the top two. They are amazing.

Didn't make it to mini vacation because of other circumstances.

Will not be online except e-mail.

what would you do #35

I need to make a decision between tonight and tomorrow morning. Originally I was going to go to my parents for a few days. Change of pace, not having to be here, etc etc. I really need a break from things and I can't afford a vacation. However, tonight when I called mom I briefly asked if she had read about my interesting night (below) and she said that she doesn't have internet and doesn't know when it'll be back (something on the provider's end it seems). Uh-oh. See, I started teaching my summer course last night. Because of the nature of the content I make myself available to my students at nearly all hours (online only, no phone). I will get back to them right away. Because it's a summer course and there's tons more expected of them in just a few weeks, I feel that much more obligated to be available online.

There are 5 major assignments in this class--that adds up to one a week. At the moment most are scheduled for Mondays--they'll have Wed-Sun to work on it. If I go away as planned and mom and dad still do not have internet that means that from Wed pm until Sat pm, I will not be available for my students. (I am NOT giving out my parents number or my cell. I do not know this class well enough for that nonsense.) That leaves Sunday. I don't feel good about it (husband said he would feel the same way). However I NEED a break. At the moment, this is the only weekend that break will happen. Next weekend I can't leave because of event husband is working at....the weekend after that mom and dad will be here actually for a festival (food!! yum!!) the weekend after we originally planned on visiting friends in Other State. (Cheap visit, we stay with them an in exchange have to change diapers.) Then we are into August, and frankly, I hope to be planning a move then. (You all should be hoping the same thing for me.)

So...would you go, after telling your students you'd be super available online and then not being able to be available for the nearly the whole time? Or would you stay home and hope you don't crack mentally? Mom said that the students might not do their work until last minute, but many of my CC students get right to work on things. It's a different mentality there, they want to be there to better themselves. Most are not 18. They're a decent group, so far too.

Headaches and coffee

Coffee is extra strong today.

Last night I turned off my light at about quarter to 1 last night. I do not usually stay up that late but I got caught up reading and since I'm a slow reader a chapter takes longer than I anticipate. It's worth mentioning that I have a hell of a time falling asleep most of the time, but I was tired enough that I was actually starting to fade. Within five minutes chaos erupts. Both doorbells and ringing like mad. We both jolted up--I pulled a back muscle in the process--and I grabbed two knives before going to the door. (Note: I do not own a gun, but increasing incidents like this might have me change my political views.) Husband wanted to go out but I didn't want him too. We circled within the house, checking out the windows for anything. I had him check upstairs and the basement because I was thoroughly freaked. We eventually lay down, but neither of us slept because we were so worked up; I was crying because damn people, who the hell does that? I swear I could punch the person if I found out.

There are a series of factors/events that have had us talking about leaving the area we live in. Husband talks about renting (I dread that) while still living near enough to our jobs/schools. I hate the idea of less space, of no lawn, etc. But stuff like last night? Make me want to start packing now.

We both have headaches from the lack of sleep.

RBOC Monday edition

• Poor Billy Mays. I feel like I need to start watching the news, I'm the last to learn everything.
• I have 5 FT job apps and 1PT job app out there. I do not want the PT job but...I know 5 isn't a lot and I know I am being picky, but damn people I'm tired of doing things I hate. I haven't had a job I loved in 7 years--and that was a PT job while I was in college.
• All the online job apps say "In Progress."
  
• I have a feeling about this week. I'm hoping I'm right.
  
• Summer course at CC starts today. I really am not looking forward to teaching 2x a week for nearly 4 hours a night. I have never done a summer course (condense 16 weeks into 5) so I'm not sure of the schedule I have set. Hopefully this group will be flexible. Hopefully the class time will go by fast. It never feels like it does.
  
• I have 19 students. geez.
  
• For the first time in forever it's sunny out. I almost forgot what blue sky looked like.

RIP Farrah, Michael, and Ed.

No rest for the wicked

Cats didn't seem to feel that I should get sleep. Between the 2, though one is worse than the other, I was up about 6 times. All their stuff is in our room so I can't exactly lock them out, and there's not a better place to put it all. The neediness continues today.

The final wake-up was a phone call. CC needs someone to cover a maternity leave for Fall semester. The idea is I will teach for 8 weeks while the woman is out, she will teach before and after. Now, does anyone see a problem with this? Not to mention I'll only be paid some hourly rate. I have not said anything one way or another (I actually know the woman having the baby) because I do not want to close any doors but I also want to remain on their good side. I need their recommendation and they were REALLY impressed with my work, they asked me first. But still. Coming in after someone else has laid the ground work and then leaving after 8 weeks? (For you ladies who have given birth, the woman firmly believes she can plan around when her baby will come. She does not feel there needs to be a plan in case the baby comes early or late. Luckily the people she works with disagree.)

I am so tired.

The plan

This morning: last day of graduate class. Will not be returning to school as a student any time soon.

This afternoon/evening: working (volunteering? I'm not paid) at fundraiser husband and I always do. Gorgeous day for it, as it's outside.

Tomorrow: sleep. Lately my life has been filled with stress and headaches (those ones in the back/side of your head). There are no other plans other than a movie or some TV

Weekend, I know for sure I'll be seeing family Saturday. I am looking forward to it. Monday begins teaching summer course at CC. (Those poor students will have no idea what they are in for.) I might also take a mini vacation next week--as in going to the parents' for a few days. I just need to recoup somewhere. I never did recover --I always keep going and going without doing something for me.

And I need to work up the nerve to tell Private College that I will not come back at all. All I've said is I won't adjunct (I mean really, would you?) but everyone assumes I'd still come back if offered a contract. In fact some people don't understand why I wouldn't. (Psychgrad, would you like to explain it to them for me? I'm tired of trying.) Send all your nerve my way people.